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Being a mistress left me suicidal at Christmas But former 'professional mistress' Sarah Symonds who now claims to be 'clean' has admitted the loneliness of being 'the other woman' at Christmas has in the past made her suicidal. Miss Symonds said the fiery Scottish chef had been her long term lover, although he denied the claims, saying he was 'more likely to have an affair with Delia'. In a piece for a downmarket tabloid newspaper, she said: 'I've been clean for three years now. 'I've been with no married men since Gordon Ramsay and never will be. I wouldn't want to be in that situation again.' Miss Symonds added: 'I take full responsibility for my past. But having affairs is like a drug you're always desperate for your next fix of the guy. 'It can destroy you. I've felt so low I've been suicidal. 'You end up imagining what your lover is doing on Christmas Day and you can't wait until the New Year because you fool yourself into believing the following year will be your time. 'If you're in love with a married man you want a life with him. The fact that he's having Christmas with someone else eats to your core.' Miss Symonds hit the headlines in late 2008 when she went public with claims she had been in a long term relationship with Renfrewshire born Ramsay. Miss Symonds also claimed Ramsay had been having affairs with two other women. The chef, who is married to wife Tana, denied anything had happened. Now Miss Symonds has spoken about how having an affair with a married man leaves the other woman the odd one out at Christmas when he goes back to his wife and family for the holidays. She warned women to avoid the trap but gave some money minded tips for those who do it and offered a glimpse into how some of her lovers have treated her in the past. Miss Symonds said: 'My advice is, don't have an affair. But if you're going to, know that he's using you and use him back. Mistresses should get something nice for Christmas after all cartier Juste Un Clou bracelet buy, he's buying his wife something. 'Mr X was wealthy and he'd always try to buy me off. One Christmas Eve he gave me a Cartier bracelet with diamonds in it. 'He said: "Each year we'll put another diamond on it for the amount of time we're together". Another man phoned to say he had a Christmas present for me, which he was very excited about. 'When he turned up he gave me 1,000 in an envelope. It was a sweet gesture, but as we'd just spent a night together his timing made me feel cheap then he asked me to leave the hotel in disguise so no one would see me. 'In the end, I used the money to clean a carpet he'd spilled red wine over. 'At least he spent some money, though. Jeffrey Archer, who was one of the tightest people I've ever met
Amulette De Cartier yellow gold earring, bought me a tin of humbugs for my Christmas present.' As a poacher turned gamekeeper, Miss Symonds also had some tips for suspicious wives. She wrote: 'Christmas is a good time for finding out if your other half is cheating. 'Remember, if you think that something is up, it probably is. 'Does he go to bed after you because he doesn't want the intimacy? Does he take his mobile phone to the toilet because you might check it or perhaps because he's secretly texting his mistress? 'Does he have a second phone you don't have the number for? Look for clues, such as receipts for hotels or presents you know nothing about imitation cartier ring love. 'I wasted years being a mistress but I've finally emerged as a much stronger person.'Most watched News videos EXCLUSIVE: Ariana Grande plane arrives back in the US Homeless man describes how he helped after Manchester attack Eye witness describes spotting the Manchester attacker Moment bomb explodes at Ariana Grande concert Man is arrested by police outside Buckingham Palace Pope Francis blesses FLOTUS Melania Trump rosary beads Huge tailbacks on M6 as police after crash between lorry and car Forensic officers raid of Manchester suicide bomber Blood seen dripping from victim leg after Manchester Sickening video warns of more attacks after Manchester Martyn Hett appears in series one of Couples Come Dine with me Mum of Manchester attack victim Georgina Callander releases balloons